The Iliad and the Odyssey by Homer as retold by Alfred J. Church

I’ve owned my copy of The Iliad and the Odyssey of Homer as retold by Alfred J. Church since I was a teenager. I re-read Church’s version before starting on a Wordsworth Classics edition of George Chapman’s translation from 1611, but starting was as far as I got. I’m now on the hunt for a simpler translation for adults written in contemporary language.

The Iliad section of the book is about a war that started when Paris, a Trojan prince carried off Helen, who was the wife of Menelaus.

To sum up what happened next, Menelaus’ brother Agamemnon, the Greek king of Kings gathered the Greek forces and took off after Helen and Paris to Troy where the Greeks and Trojans fought for years while the Gods intervened, favoring first one side and then the other until finally, ten years after the war began, the Greeks tricked the Trojans into allowing a wooden horse filled with Greek soldiers into their city walls, ending the war in favour of the Greeks.

I preferred The Odyssey section of the book, which told of Odysseus’ ten-year journey back to Ithaca after the war in Troy ended.

There aren’t many female characters of importance in either story, so I thought I would share a letter which I would have written to my mother-in-law had I been Penelope (Odysseus’ wife) to balance things out a little.

To my dear mother-in-law Anticleia,

Thank you for your most recent letter. I’m glad to hear that life in The Land of the Dead is to your liking.

Here in Ithaca, I are hoping that your son and my husband Odysseus will return home soon. It has been nine years since he left to fight the Trojans with King Agamemnon and his brother Menelaus, all because that silly Helen fluttered her pretty eyelashes at Paris who I’ve heard tell is equally as silly, beautiful and vain as Helen. Honestly, if Menelaus had any brains he would have said ‘good riddance’ to Helen and moved on, as there are plenty of other women in Sparta who would love to be the next Mrs M.

The war would have been over in a week if Achilles and Agamemnon hadn’t fallen out and Achilles fought the Trojans. Achilles is such a handsome fellow, he always reminds me a little of Brad Pitt, but by Zeus, can that man sulk!

The constant interference from the Gods hasn’t helped either. If only they would mind their own business and let us mortals get on with our own affairs.

Good news, though, I heard from my serving girl, who heard from the laundry woman, who heard from Agamemnon’s gardener’s wife that the war will end soon. The rumour is that Odysseus has thought up a very clever way to trick the Trojans with an epic display of horse-power.

If Odysseus is away any longer I am afraid that he won’t recognise our son when he returns, or worse, that Telemachus won’t know his father. Not only am I both mother and father to my son, but I am hounded by young men hanging around our home. Some of these young men say they love me, but I think that they actually covet Odysseus’ enormously big shed where he worked on his horse-powered chariots before leaving for Troy. I should have turned the shed into a craft room when I had the chance, as it would have been the perfect spot to house my weaving loom. Although lately, I’ve taken to crochet which I think pretty, and I find that my crochet hook is far more portable than the loom.

Regards, your loving daughter-in-law, Penelope.

P.S. Remember when Odysseus got lost coming home from Athens that time and was away for three years because he wouldn’t ask anyone for directions? Hopefully he has learned his lesson and this time will ask for directions if he gets lost on his way home from Troy once the war ends.

You didn’t really think I would leave you without providing a picture of Achilles looking very like Brad Pitt, did you?

The Iliad and the Odyssey were books book forty-three and forty-four of my Classics Club challenge to read 50 classics before my challenge end date of August 26, 2023.